Splatoon (Wii U)

It’s time to change up my look, so I pop in to Cooler Heads to scope out my options. Annie is her usual self, reserved and with little to say. Moe, on the other hand, is in top form today.

None of the gear for sale sparks my interest, not to mention Moe’s rude demeanor isn’t putting me in the mood to shop. I don’t know what I’ve done to offend him, but he is relentless. When Annie quietly complimented my progression amongst the player ranks, he boasted of his superiority over me. He also¬†pointed out I was “broke” when I took a peek at a helmet that was a bit out of my price range.

Deciding I’d endured enough abuse for one day, I call it quits and head over to Shrimp Kicks to get some new shoes instead. On my way out, Moe announces that I wasted their time. Annie just stares at me with a meek look on her face.

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Super Smash Bros. for Wii U (Wii U)

Little Mac winds up, ready to strike. As he channels power to his fists, a bellow pours from his lungs, increasing in intensity with each passing moment. If Bayonetta doesn’t take action, she’s toast.

Right on cue, Mac charges forward with crushing force, hell-bent on clearing the path in front of him and knocking all adversaries far out of sight. Unfortunately, he’s never faced a witch before.

Bayonetta laughs and flips backward, her movements impressively precise. Amazingly, the passage of time grinds to a crawl. Mac fails to connect with anything, leaving him right where Bayonetta wants him.

Monster Hunter 3 Ultimate (Nintendo 3DS/Wii U)

Damn it, I don’t have time for this nonsense. Normally I just try to ignore those annoying Melynx, but now one of them has stolen something important from me. Well, he asked for it. My hammer comes crashing down on his head, stopping him dead in his tracks. I’ve recovered my item, but now the thief’s companions are closing in on me. Big mistake. Within seconds my weapon fells them both. Hopefully those jerks have learned a lesson today, though I doubt it.